TOP 10 REASONS I DESERVE A BLOWJOB TODAY - 29

I have no desire to write to this guy, but the post made me laugh.

HELP ! My dick has taken over my computer today. I have tried to stop him but his desperation and despair has made him too strong. Anything said below is written by an out of control cock - I take no responsibility.
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10. I need some air.
9. My owner has promised to let me watch the Super Bowl with him if I succeed today.
8. I showered really, really good - I scrubbed hard!
7. You know you want me baaaaby (I am a very talented penis. I bet you never heard a penis do an Austin Powers impression til now eh?:)
6. Lately, my owner is beating me like I owe him money.
5. You need the practice.
4. I am well proportioned, large and in really great shape.
3. I last much longer than cookies or ice cream and am low carb/high protein.
2. It's tax deductable.
1. I watched that damn Golden Girls last night - they get my juices flowing
every time!

I'd like to know what happens if the poor penis doesn't get a blowjob. Does it not get to watch the Superbowl? Do I want to know how that works?