Honesty Part 2

A few weeks ago I went out with a guy whose ad I had answered. We met for coffee. Everything was going so well, we decided to get dinner. Then we went for drinks and ended the evening with more coffee. At the end of the evening we agreed to go out the following weekend. Thursday of that week he emailed me to say that he would not be able to go out because he had just found out that he had to work that weekend. I told him that it was fine with me and asked that he just let me know when he would be available.

Two weeks passed by and not a word from him. Normally I would just write the guy off. I figure if you can't contact me within two weeks, then you probably are not interested and I should move on. When I relayed this to a friend, she argued that it was too much like game playing and that I should give the guy a chance. She lectured for so long that I finally gave in and emailed the guy to see how he was doing. This is the response I received.

I'm sorry i hadn't told you sooner. It's not that i don't like you. I just realized that i'm looking for something physical right now. I assumed you weren't interested in that, so rather than come clean i just hid. Sorry, you deserved better.

Damn skippy I deserve better. I just spent some more time on the phone analyzing this response with another friend. She says that he is obviously afraid of commitment but doesn't know how to come right out and say it. Below is my answer to this.

Thank you for your honesty. Was it really that hard? I'm not completely sure what I'm looking for at this time. I know that it is not a purely physical relationship. I can find that hanging out in a bar. (Of course, that's one thing that has always kind of bothered me. If someone is looking for something purely physical, then why bother with CL?) Anyway, best of luck.

Maybe someone can answer that question for me. If all you need is sex, then why not just head out to a bar and pick someone up? It used to work for me in the past. Now I like to think that I have matured though, and while sex can be important, it is not the only thing that matters. OK, and sometimes I look at CL purely for the entertainment factor.