Shaken, not stirred - Idiots who are too into James Bond for their own good.

Let me reiterate that in replying to an online personal, you should try to make a good first impression. You should also try to share something about yourself that makes the person want to write back. So maybe it was my fault that I threw in the James Bond reference, because some guys just focus on that to a perhaps extreme degree.

I'ma sweet and sexy SWM 38 looking for a you.WHY? because you quoted James Bond and I'm a big ol' James Bond geek.Well maybe not a geek ,per se,but an afficianado.

That's all he wrote. It does nothing for me. Not to mention he is way older than I am. If he had been an especially promsicuous youth at 14, I could be his daughter. Gross.

If you are the female James Bond... then can I be your Bond Boy, you can call me, Woody Galore...

Yuck! We don't know each other yet, don't be making jokes in those lines. Because as a stranger, you are just a pervert if you do so.

The game of choice for Bond is baccarat... do you know how to play?

Blahblahblah. Why don't you tell me something about yourself, not something I know already from watching all the Bond movies?

If your the female James Bond, then I am Q.

This guy might have to argue with this following one:

I'm more like "Q". I'm older and wiser than Bond. I have the gadgets that Bond needs and I can also put bond in his place when out of line.

That's all that those two guys wrote. All I can guess is that they want to start some sort of small debate, but that's not the point of answering a personals ad, is it?

The title of the post, alone, piqued my interest. (said with my best Connery impersonation)

So let me ask you these ultra important questions....................screw the "Whats your life story, stuff?" lol This is much more nitty gritty, need to know..........

1) If you were a female James Bond, what would your name be?

2) If you were a "Bond woman" what would your name be?

and finally.........

3) If you were a Bond villian, what would your name be?

Signed, From Russia With Love.

aka B--

I'm sorry, I think the life story is more interesting to me, especially as the guy didn't answer the questions himself.

sounds cool...so do you ski, hike, dive off of 800ft dams with a bungee cord (hehe)

"Hehe" right back atchya. I don't get what's with these one-line emails.

ok, Bond..... I'm the Man with the Golden Gun......

That's all he wrote too. I mean, really, what do you respond to that? Do you start digressing into plot points? Start quoting the movie? "We all get our jollies one way or another."

Wow "I thought christmas only comes once a year". Hehe I thought you would like that it is a quote from one of the bond movies. I have seen most of the bond movies but not all. If I have missed some it is the older ones.

Again, there is nothing to say in response. "I'm sorry, watch all of them first then talk to me"? And obviously I know my Bond quotes. Doofus. And the old Bond movies are the better ones.

Well may I suggest that we explore the possibility of a joint mission :

You be the female James Bond, and I'll be Agent Cody Banks, ur understudy....

Okay, so that was stupid too, but the guy was cute so I made some allowances for him (after pointing out that Cody Banks is only 12 and that hopefully he wasn't that young. He wasn't.)

Hello Agent 107,
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to discover, intercept, and extract information from a mysterious agent of the Revolutionary Avante Guarde. The individual you are seeking is a SWM, 6 Ft tall, dark and handsome mysterious man claiming to originally be from Boston. Please be aware that he uses fake accents, speaks in foreign languages and is ravishingly handsome. He has been spotted in exotic lands pretending to be on vacation, but we believe his home base is in or around the Boston area.

Approved tactics include magic spells, alcoholic truth serum, and any other womanly charms that you have trained in at The Academy. Please be aware that if your identity is discovered, we will disavow any knowledge of the mission and you will be all alone with this devil. Other agents have been known to lose perspective and enter into a dream-like state after initial contact, so be prepared for whatever skills he may have developed since he was first reconnoitered. ;-)

I was impressed, and considered writing him back, but ultimately I decided that it was just too overwhelming for me. And what sort of straight male uses "ravishingly" in a description? He's probably gay. After all, as one of my friends pointed out, "All the guys you like verge on gaydom". Sad, but true. My (very gay) roommate is still in love with my ex, and is still upset that we broke up because he wanted to mack on him.