Shaken, not stirred - Introduction.

While looking at all the personals is fun (and very time-consuming - perfect for procrastination).. you have to sort through a whole lot of really crappy ones before you find that gem of which you can make fun. I mean, I can't even tell you how many roll-my-eyes-boring ads I've read.

So then, why go looking for the idiots? Why not let them come to me?

And so, I placed a cute little ad, with the title above. It was short and sweet - based in truth, because what happens in the offchance that I actually find someone (gasp!) decent this way? - and the James Bond reference will enable those morons a good starting point to write a witty line or two.

Ah, those guys in Boston are desperately looking for love. In the hour between placing my ad (at 23h30) and going to bed (do the math - 00h30), 23 guys responded. This morning, there are a whole bunch more.

Don't worry, I will share the responses with all of you, because they're too good to keep to myself. But before I get to the business of categorising all the ads, one tip for anyone who answers online personals. Do NOT be a flaming moron and have your full name in the "name" part of your email. Because 1) you are emailing strangers and why would you disclose your identity to strangers and 2) people like me will google you.

For future reference, so all the replies I post make sense, my ad involved: drinking, playing poker and pool, not playing games, and being hotter than the girl next door.

Yes, I had a very brief fling with the advertising field. I'd have been great in it, let me tell you.