SPERM SEEKING EGG - 36
Every time I turn around, someone is announcing that she is pregnant. The other day at work I was pondering whether this was some sort of virus or something. (My pregnant, very religious co-worker didn't like this comparison. Huh. Go figure.) It seems the pregnancy bug has struck CL as well.
Hi ladies, I am a attractive, professional, swm with diverse interests, good heart, good sense of humor, etc. Only problem is, I am somewhat of a commitment phobe. Not in the sense of boyfriend / girlfriend, but in the legal, walk down the aisle, driving a minivan one.
Since I don’t have much problems attracting women, I could wait forever. Dating and dating and dating in hopes of someday finding the "perfect" partner. Even then, with a divorce rate of approximately 50%, the odds are just as favorable to marry someone with whom you have that "love at first sight" (aka Lust). So I figured screw it, take a chance and live on the edge and place an ad, not for another date, but for the mother of my children.
So, here is my idea. We email, talk, exchange pictures, send care packages, whatever, everything BUT meet in person for the period of one month. If the interest, attraction and intrigue is still there, then, on Memorial Day weekend, we meet and spend the entire weekend in bed making love. If we get pregnant, we take it as fate, get married and live happily ever after.
If we do not get pregnant, we continue to date and see where it goes but risk the chance of the cold feet syndrome setting in.
Sounds simple enough. And what a great story to tell our grandkids.
All that I ask is that you are a good person, intelligent and articulate, financially self sufficient, have more on your mind than the big sale at Banana Republic and fantastic if you absolutely love giving BJ's;-)
By the way, the Memorial Day weekend date is flexible to accommodate your period or vacation schedule.
Thanks for reading my ad.
Hmmm ... I've always wanted an interesting story to tell the grandkids.
posted by Dagny @ 12:41 PM
7 Comments:
Interesting that he wants care packages.
This is definitely a new take on matters. Spending 3 days in the sack with a virtual stranger (oh, but I forgot the care packages), spinning the roulette wheel of pregnancy?
By the way, does he know that blowjobs do not cause pregnancy (unless you are doing something very very wrong)?
I had wondered why bother with the blow jobs. Then again maybe he is just looking for stimulation so that he can get down to the task of impregnating the lady of his choice -- basically trying to decrease the down time between attempts.
You have to get him credit for caring enough to be flexible around your period, though... LMAO!
Joe, I had to re-read the ad. Sorry, but the guy is not that sensitive. The only time he used the word "period" is when he was talking about the waiting time prior to meeting.
Is there something you would like to share with us, Joe? ;-)
I missed the whole "period" thing at first . . . but this is just too good not to repeat.
"By the way, the Memorial Day weekend date is flexible to accommodate your period or vacation schedule."
Because having sex while on your period does decrease the chance that "fate" will get me pregnant. Excellent. good god
I need to stop skimming obviously. It's just something I do when an ad freaks me out. I think the nightmares I will have from this ad will be worse than the ones I had after seeing "The Ring."
And besides the whole period != pregnant... it's just in bad taste to even mention... lol.
Yes... even for ads like this.. haha.
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