Why post/answer an ad?
After ending things with bald boy, I decided to take another look at the CL ads. There are a few that are entertaining, but that's about it. My past experiences have now taught me that perhaps I do not want to go out with a guy who posts or answers ads on CL.
First, there was the guy who has never bought a woman a drink. Then there was the born again Christian guy with the illegitimate daughter. Next was the guy who decided that he liked another woman more than he liked me just to be dumped by her. (Well, I'm guessing that she dumped him because two to three weeks later his ad was back up on CL.) Next was the guy who told me that I deserved better than him, but only after I questioned his sudden coldness. The final candidate was bald boy, and you've heard more than enough about him.
What do all of these men have in common, in my opinion? They are not really ready to be in the dating pool. Therefore, they should not be allowed to post or to answer ads until they are truly ready.
What about me? I took 2+ years off from dating so that I could focus on other aspects of my life, like getting a job/career that I really liked. Once I was feeling financially stable, I sat down and tried to think about what I really wanted out of dating before heading back into the waters. I think what these guys have in common is that they haven't really thought the whole thing out. They seem to want to make it up as they go along. They think they want one thing and then realize that what they want is the complete opposite. It's never dawned on them to take the extra time to figure out what they want.
Maybe the whole thing to them is like asking for directions...
posted by Dagny @ 8:03 PM
5 Comments:
I think a lot of people are like that... they don't know what they want... so they try this and that in hopes that they'll find it. I had a friend who was slowing going insane as he dated around, and I kept asking him "what are you looking for"... he had no idea.
I told him to do what you did... take some time off... figure himself out first... and then he'd be in a better position to figure out what he wanted. Of course he didn't and is now engaged to someone he knew for two months (I see that ending well... right? haha).
I believe that one cannot make another person happy until they know who they are and are able to make themselves happy. Maybe it sounds selfish, but I think you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.
Not like this is a big secret, but many guys don't know what they want. The lesser-known part of that secret is that a lot of guys can be told what they want.
You see, after trying to figure out what we want for ourselves, we usually just give up, because it can't be done. And we're perfectly happy to share in someone else's plan as long as it's partially similar to what we had in mind, but hadn't fully mapped out yet.
Think of it like a man and a woman sharing a hand of Texas hold-em poker. (Yes, guy game reference).
Let the first two cards dealt belong to the woman. The first two cards determine where the entire hand is going. Are you going for a pair? two pair? A straight? Those first two cards tell you a lot.
Now let the remaining five cards to be drawn belong to both the man and the woman. They are the cards that fill in the framework of the relationship that the woman laid down at the start of the hand.
Either the hand works out, or you fold it and move on.
Look! Kenny Rogers is commenting on our site! (You know, "The Gambler", that song.)
Hee. I'm just kidding.
Hmmm ... the poker reference makes me think of the ad that Gloria posted.
Gloria - I didn't even need to hear it, but now that song's stuck in my head and it's not going away...
My opinion of Kenny Rogers has been totally skewed by the "Kenny Rogers: Jackass" skits that MadTV has been doing. Quality mindless humor, in my opinion, and easily downloadable.
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