The Serial Poster in the flesh

Please explain this ad to me. I was thoroughly confused. Then again, maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's almost 8 PM and I'm still at work.

Here is a fan letter in which she refers to "ex-model" I think you might enjoy.
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Dear Serial Poster,
Just got back from an excellent day of skiing at Heavenly! I thought I wrote you this morning, thanking you for the picture (that wasn't winning, I just need a picture of you to display in my coffee mug :)...but it doesn't show that it sent....so thank you. I am curious...your post last night, about the guy I was talking about....you wrote it just a few minutes before I wrote to you....that's crazy....you were thinking the same thing I was....great minds think alike :-) . You were not that hard on him...hello...who is that stupid...did you see "Napoleon Dynamite"....remember the uncle that did all the foot ball stuff...that is just like this guy...he wasn't attractive then...wonder what he looks like now:0 Maybe I should reply to him with something like this: "Drop dead sexy, ex-hair model (I did a hair show ONCE), 5'9", I once weighed 113lbs, I was a virgin at one time...a little over 20 years ago, I also tried out once for a part in a movie AND almost got it. I am stuck in a long distance relationship with someone...well a couple "someones", they are out of town...now living in San Quintin (it really is a nice area), looking for company, someone to walk on the beach with, someone to be my soul mate, help me pay bills and maybe have dessert (I LOVE whipped cream!!!)...I am clean....every third day after I shower....but really...I do still have all my teeth...well at least it looks like I do, when I don't smile all the way...."I think he needs to kick his own ass for being so ridiculous!!!!
It's been a pleasure as always!
Signed, Biggest fan
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So as you can see I'm not the only one in the melting pot of diatribe.
Glad to have you sista!
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I love this guys ad. It rules, (sound of me bowing down) Here you go....
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"Sexy Macho Latin Lover wants hot Chica - 32"
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Hola Chicas,
I am Rico, and I look for women who can handle my fire. Fire from the thrust of my hips and my huge manhood. I love hot cars and even hotter women. You would like to ride in my Z-28, yes? It is flaming red and hot like my manhood. I can teach you the sexual Rumba, and your head will explode like a hot tamale! You will scream, “Jesus Christo! My head explode like a hot tamale!” But no, not Jesus Christo, it is Rico that make you scream when your head explode like a hot tamale --from red hot salsa manhood you become slave to.
You think they tough in East LA? let me show you tough. I drink gasoline. I eat metal appliances. I shit on homies from East LA and they say, “Oh no, it is Rico, come to East LA to steal our bitches and eat our metal appliances.” And yes, I steal the bitches and all burn up in the fire of hot Rumba passion, making your head explode like a hot tamale.
I show you machismo. I drink homies gasoline and drive away in my red hot Z-28 and all homies say, “Oh no, Rico drink our gasoline and drive away with our bitches.”
So, if you look real nice and you like hot picante in your panties then we get together and have a real good time.
RICO
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- Ok that is sweet. It's not vote for Pedro, it's vote for Rico!
The Serial Poster

I'd love to post the photo, but Gloria won't let me.