Couldn't. Stop. Laughing.

Obviously, the procrastinating situation is dire when I return to perusing Craigslist instead of writing my papers. This one was way too priceless not to share, however.

I sit around in my underwear - 36

You wanted romance, didn't you? I got romance up the wazzoo. As the B. Boys say, it's always great to get back in the States, back to the cutest girls in the world. And I should know! I was in Canada last week. DOGS!!! You want to know who let the dogs out? Some Canadian guy did! Listen to me - if you're going north anytime soon, carry some mace! X-Strength. Woof, woof! Arf!

But anyway, what I'm looking for is some of those smokin hot chill American girls. Bring it on! I say. A Badass like me isn't happy unless he's taking it to Partytown (NOT the one in Canada). Whatever. They call me Buckshot. I've never liked that name but hey if you've got an ass that can stop a freighttrain (not because it's as big as a freigttrain, but because it's smokin hot) then fire a bomb over here and LET'S BUST A MOVE!!!

My stomach hurts, it was just too much for me.